Wednesday, August 1, 2007

This should've been in the notebookz: #1

So, I send off an email to you the other day that I kept kicking myself for. Telling you who I feel and what I "thought" I wanted from you. I'm an fool for anything beautiful. And we had spend a beautiful time together, I don't mean to sound overly sentimental but i'm a sucker for anything pure, clean and refreshing and you are just that, So forgive my foolishness.
My excuse is just...
"I'm still so young, I'm not inlove with you, but I like you"
I said this to you about twenty times so it would sink into my own head, and I promise never to forget it.
"I didn't mean to like you, I'm not looking for a relationship, or anything serious right now."
You said, or something along those lines, I was too busy thinking about what to say not to cry...The tears came so close and I pulled them back everytime, praying.
"Lord, please don't let me fall apart tonight."
I was mad at myself for everything, I felt so foolish...foolish, foolish girl...But with all honesty, my heart is not in a place for a relationship right now either, I figured that out waiting for you to answer my email. I'm still picking up the peices of me scattered aimlessly in the winds, who will help me to glue it all back together again? Maybe you? Maybe he? She? Them? Who, lay waiting for me in the future to just get it together.
I need to get it together.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You seem pretty much together. You love him, I feel as though you keep telling yourself you don't because you think it will go away but, it's quite obvious. The email was necessary. You must always let someone know how you feel
btw - where's the fashion you promised?
I like your stuff please update soon.

Anonymous said...

You seem pretty much together. You love him, I feel as though you keep telling yourself you don't because you think it will go away but, it's quite obvious. The email was necessary. You must always let someone know how you feel
btw - where's the fashion you promised?
I like your stuff please update soon.